KOBE FOR THREE!!!

Sitting next to the Gorditas on a regular basis can be interesting. Most days are pretty boring as they blather on about something inane. Then there are the days that make you wonder if it was really wise to down a double cheeseburger from Pepper's and then try to keep it down with their conversations...

Last week was a particularly good week for nausiating conversations. One day I guess they got into an extra revolting conversation with Valentine's Day coming up, about lingerie and which pieces they prefer and don't like. Now personally, I don't see how an eight man tent can be considered sexy, but whatever it takes for them to cover up those vital areas, I am all in favor of it.

The other even funnier conversation comes up with them talking about diets. Now realize the Gorditas only have a few basic conversations. If you took away dating and food, I don't know if the Queen of the Gorditas would ever get past a few primordial grunts as a deep chat. Now with this and the ever expanding waistlines of the Gorditas in mind, we move forward... One night last week they were talking about what they wanted to eat as usual. Except this time, one of them must have picked up weight watchers, because they were refering to how many points that would cost them on their diet. Now I will stop there for a second, and start a completely different, but eventually related paragraph, that will tie everything together to make for a hilarious ending, with laughs to be had by all (well except if the gorditas are reading this)

One of my many missions as keeper of this blog is finding hilarious nicknames for people, that will convey both a mental picture for those who aren't on the South Shore regularly, and keep me generally amused all at the sametime. Finding a nickname for the Gorditas as a whole was fairly easy, now nicknaming them individually has proven much more difficult. Everytime I had found something I thought was OK, it proved to be either too cliche or not quite catchy enough. For a while I had been referring to the Queen of the Gorditas as Jabba the Butt, mostly because her horrible laugh and generous midsection invoked solid imagery of the Star Wars villian, but it never really stuck. OK, now I will freeze this story and go for the big Tom Clancy type ending...

So as Nerd is filling us all in about the point/diet conversation that the Gorditas were having, a funny thing hits me. If they get points for everything they eat, the Queen of the Gorditas has now got the perfect nickname. That girl scores more than Kobe Bryant against the Raptors...